Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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