haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
