haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
