girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
