just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
