I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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