Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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