Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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