this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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