i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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