You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
