The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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