I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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