call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
