He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Couch. On fire.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
