Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
