Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
