I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
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He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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