we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
