why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize