yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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