im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
