i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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