when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Your penis caused this!
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