i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
