So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
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I have surprise drugs for everyone
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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