if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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