There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
