well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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