here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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