I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
