Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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