wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize