why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
