Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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