Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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