i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
