i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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