I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
