Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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