I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
