DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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