i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
