he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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