He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
