I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you inspire me to be a worse person
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
