Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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