I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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