capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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