people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When did angry sex become our thing?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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