Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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