I want to make a zoo with you.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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