this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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