I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sorry about my life...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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