Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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