my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i came on her dog
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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