so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
