I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize