You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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