You're my little dorito
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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