She said her name was "party"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
