if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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