kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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