You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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