Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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