Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
