OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
