it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Sober January is a disaster.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
tell me about the fingering
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