i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
