This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
